There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

This forum is meant as a place for Mildir to write about his experiences and insights
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There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Tue Apr 10, 2018 8:42 am

Hello everyone,

thanks, Lúthien, for activating my account: I wasn't any longer hoping that someone would do it, but the fact that it happened now is really interesting to me... :)
Having always been a truth-seeker I'm extremely happy that this site exists.
Gnosis is, in my opinion, one of the most straight (or less convoluted) ways to find pieces of the objective truth.

What I'm going to say may be very hard to consider, yet this is the only thing I'd ask you: could you please only consider that it may be possible?
The last thing I wish is that someone believes it, as this would prevent them from finding out whether it is the truth or not.
The first thing I wish (dream of, actually) is that even just one person thinks: "Well, it may be true, it may have happened"

What happened is that I met a woman, as a child, and this woman wasn't like any woman you could normally see on earth.
Her external and internal beauty went (and goes) far beyond the reach of human imagination.
Her name was (and is) Lada Haldeson, and she was (and still is) a hermit.
She approached me and talked to me in a language that later I would know as Sindarin.
She called it Mithren.
She taught me to speak in Mithren (it is partly different from the Sindarin attested in J.R.R. Tolkien's scripts) and when I reached a reasonable level of fluency she started to tell me things about something I didn't even know she were aware of: my curious memories.
I've been born with inexplicable memories in my head: I have remembered having had a wife, a family, friends, since I was six.
Of course these memories were about a previous life, but this life I didn't live in this world.
It was another one.

She already knew about my memories, she already knew everything and, in the beginning, this drove me almost crazy.
She explained to me that the land which I had always seen in my mind was called Balannor.
She told me I was one of the First Men (which she called "In-edhil" or "In-minen"), a member of the first generation of men.
This - according to her - had been born long before the generation of men I knew, long before the normal men who I could meet in everyday life.
She called normal men "In-aedain", "The Second Ones".
So, I learnt (countless memories could confirm that) that I was a temporarily reincarnated First Man (or "edhel").
I learnt that I had come to inhabit a human body, for an established period of time, in order to deliver a message to many people of this world.
Lada, whose real name is Nilwen Oerynien, told me that J.R.R. Tolkien did the same.
He couldn't reveal the truth directly, for obvious reasons, but he tried to do it through fiction.

I witnessed this truth: Lada wasn't alone.
She was, when we first met, but then she introduced me to three friends: Torion, Arphin and Ivrenwen.
They do not have names in any language of this world ("Lada" is a rough translation of "Nilwen").
They are all Eldar.
And, well, I know I may have just said something ridiculous but... if you had just seen them, it wouldn't be difficult to consider it to be something as real as any thing you know.
They were literally angels.
Besides, they were identical to the people who lived in my memories.

A friend of mine, whose name was Andrea, saw Lada on one occasion: she has been an obsession for this person ever since that moment.
I'll always remember my friend's words: "I saw an angel, a real angel, and something tells me that I'll never see anything even remotely similar again. But I will always want to. I'll never stop trying to meet her again".

There would be one more thing I witnessed before L. Haldeson vanished from my life, leaving me with what I'd learnt.
I'm not sure whether to tell it or not, as it looks even more "ridiculous" than everything I've said so far.
I saw an Empress Eagle.
It's a gigantic species of eagle which once - in the Pleistocene Age, according to what Lada told me - lived in this world.
But now Empress Eagles live only in Balannor and the Eldar can communicate with them: they are far more intelligent than any other kind of animal, even more than monkeys.
They often help Eldar move from one place to another (when it's a distant one).
And I saw one, in this life, in this world, with my own eyes.
I'm not proud of it, but that time I fainted.
I guess I was just terrified by its size (also by the eyes, they are the most impressive part).

Very well...
I did it.
It took courage, but I started to tell you about my experience.
A real experience, I assure you.
I have been living with it in silence for many, too many years.
It's beatiful, but it's also terrible.
People nowadays believe in things such as aliens, demons... and I know this, and I can't tell other people (theoretically).

Is it too naive of me to hope that this can be the right place where to talk about it?
And, of course, I'd be interested in knowing if any of you has had analogous experiences...

And by the way: Mildir is not just a nickname, it would be my true name. It means "He who studies", but also "He who pines for something".
In everyday life I study languages (English, German, Irish, but also Latin, Ancient Greek and Aramaic).
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:43 pm

The interesting thing is also that I met L. Haldeson when I was 12 (we have been meeting for a year), but I read "The Lord of the Rings" for the first time only at the age of 16...
When I did, it made me chuckle a bit, but of course it also fascinated me...
According to Nilwen there are many altered facts in the story written by Tolkien, and certain things are "metaphorically represented".
The bulk of the tale, though, rotates around real facts happened approximately 30000 years ago.

And I won't venture to tell more, I actually didn't want to add anything to my first post as I wanted to see if it was "bearable" for you first...
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Tue Apr 10, 2018 4:31 pm

A little note: I wrote about these things at the beginning because for me they were the beginning.
The beginning of everything; my true life, my personal growth, even my hobbies.
Every single important thing ever happened in my short life happened after that moment, the moment I met her and found out who I really were.

I "refrained" from telling you about trivial things, such as the name of the country I'm from or what University I attended because... well... I think they are almost irrelevant.
I am a linguist, read a lot, write a lot, about languages and especially about Tolkienian languages.
But, of course, I'm from Italy (Veneto): most of what I wrote - on the web and even in terms of paper publications - is not in English (sorry !).

There is some English content on my blog (here's the link, should anyone be interested: https://simonelapan.wordpress.com)
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Lúthien » Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:40 am

Hi Mildir, and welcome!

This is the very first time that someone who registered posted before I had the chance to create a welcome topic :)
And I won't venture to tell more, I actually didn't want to add anything to my first post as I wanted to see if it was "bearable" for you first...
It’s not a matter of it being bearable, but rather communicable.
I "refrained" from telling you about trivial things, such as the name of the country I'm from or what University I attended because... well... I think they are almost irrelevant.
It is clear that whatever you want to tell is extremely important to you.
However, this alone does not enable whomever you are talking to to somehow automatically fill in the missing context.

I think you should seriously consider this IF you really want others to understand what you are talking about.

We cannot read your mind, you see ;)

What I’m reading in your posts above - well, the sentences are clear; the paragraphs are; but the whole of what you want to get across - not yet.

It misses context. So those “trivial” things you mention above may be irrelevant compared to what you want to tell, but they are absolutely necessary for others beside yourself to understand what this is about.

Just try and put yourself in our shoes, and ask yourself “what would I need to know in order to understand the true relevance of something that is of the utmost importance to somebody else, whom I have never met, know nothing about, nothing at all?”

So please: be a little patient with your audience.
A! Elin velui, dîn dolog, aduial lúthad!

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Thu Apr 12, 2018 11:03 am

Lúthien wrote:
Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:40 am
Hi Mildir, and welcome!
Hannon, Lúthien! :)
This is the very first time that someone who registered posted before I had the chance to create a welcome topic :)
And I've also posted in another section of the forum (here: viewtopic.php?f=83&p=8078#p8078)... :D
It is clear that whatever you want to tell is extremely important to you.
It is indeed.
It is extremely important (to me) that other people get to know more about something as wonderful as this reality.
The vast majority of people only know unpleasant, woeful and (too often) terrifying aspects of the world they live in.
What would they think if they just knew that we humans have elder brothers?
What would they think if they just knew that these elder brothers have had a million years to evolve (much more years than those humankind has had itself) and that they chose to evolve spiritually (and mentally) rather than technologically?
How would they feel if they just knew that this choice has made the Eldar of Valinor the most beatiful, kindhearted, sensitive and capable people that anyone could ever dream of?
We are little children compared to them!
And they've always, for all this time, wanted to help humanity.
But they couldn't, they weren't allowed to.
Not until the age of the dominion of men were over.

What would people think if they just knew that now that age is almost over and the Eldar are about to finally come back?

Many people seek the darkness and they won't like the return of the Eldar, they will in fact hate them.
But many other people seek the light, they have always dreamt of building together a world where love, profoundness and true (not shallow) beauty are the foremost values.
It is those people that the Eldar want to help (as for the evil-inclined: the Eldar don't need to do anything. They will all be moved to another place of the universe at the end of this age. And it has been foretold. By an Elda, no less. But this is another complex story, it can wait.).
It is to those people that they want to give their light (also by sharing with them their knowledge of our universe, which is, compared to human knowledge, nearly unlimited. They know what comes after we die, they know the real history of our solar system and of our world. They know the real identity of Jesus and of Buddha... but I need to tell things a bit at a time... :D ).

I think that that is at least a noteworthy fact, wouldn't you say, Lúthien?
Do I have evidence for all this?
Yes, I do. :)
And I'm here to give it to you, but they pleaded with me to do things gradually, step by step.

I'll try to explain to you why gradualness is needed: for example, just seeing a real Elda (as they look in present day) can be very unsettling and perturbing for a normal man. If you are a normal person, you do realize that that Elda looks like an angelic creature, but you might as well feel scared, very scared.
That is because in every normal person of this world there is still a little (or sometimes big) part of darkness.
And the simple presence of an Elda casts so much "light" that it makes that dark part tremble.
It's as if the simple presence of the Elda announces the banishment of evil, I promise you.
Of course, if you are someone who believes in good, you will feel unutterably well... :)
This has been also my (personal) experience.

What I’m reading in your posts above - well, the sentences are clear; the paragraphs are; but the whole of what you want to get across - not yet.
I know, and I'll try to explain it as clearly as I can. :)

I belong to a group of people, the Calacholiellen (or Lightbringers).
They represent those of the Eldar who came into this world, choosing to inhabit a human body for some time in order to mingle with normal people.
And prepare them for the coming of the Eldar (which many believe to be a creation of J.R.R. Tolkien and many others have never even heard of).

I hope that my purpose is more clear now.
And I hope that it doesn't look too pretentious.
I just want to share with you what others have shared with me. :)
(Sorry for writing sooo much...)
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Thu Apr 12, 2018 12:16 pm

Lúthien wrote:
Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:40 am
So please: be a little patient with your audience.
I'll be more than glad to be more than patient at any time... :D
But I thought that it was you who would need patience to read my words... and I thank you for having considered them.
It's more than I expected.
I've already tried to tell to other people (the wrong people): "The Eldar exist, I've met them, I've spoken with them and above all: my memories tell me I am one of them"
They were all like "you are nuts, bro, completely! I understand that the Eldar are an interesting fictional subject, but saying they are real..." S)
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Lúthien » Thu Apr 12, 2018 1:49 pm

Hey, just a quick question for now: are you a man or a woman?
For instance, your email address says “Simone”, but you also quote people saying “bro” to you :hmm:

Not that that’s so hugely important, but I just wondered.
A! Elin velui, dîn dolog, aduial lúthad!

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:10 pm

:D :D :D

I'm a man...
"Simone" is my Italian given name, and I know that the ending -e could make you think of a feminine name, but no, it's a masculine one.
Besides, as I said, the meaning of "Mildir", my true name, is "He who studies" or "He who pines for something".

Wait a second, you are not asking my gender because you want to call the police, are you? :fear: :D
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Lúthien » Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:17 pm

Mildir wrote:
Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:10 pm
:D :D :D

I'm a man...
"Simone" is my Italian given name, and I know that the ending -e could make you think of a feminine name, but no, it's a masculine one.
Ahhhh ok, yes, of course. I immediately associated it with a French name - e.g. Simone de Bouvoir :)
Mildir wrote:
Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:10 pm
Besides, as I said, the meaning of "Mildir", my true name, is "He who studies" or "He who pines for something".
Well yes, but that's why it was confusing.
Mildir wrote:
Thu Apr 12, 2018 3:10 pm
Wait a second, you are not asking my gender because you want to call the police, are you? :fear: :D
Hmm let me see ...

"Hello? Is this the police"
"Yes. Officer Q.D. Barrington speaking. How can I help you?"
"Well, I wanted to tell you that he's a man."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Well, on the forum, you see. It was my mistake, actually."
"Your mistake? Can you be more specific please?"
"Er. Well. Let me start again."
"Please, do."
"The thing is that I had not fully appreciated the -e ending in Italian."
"Italian?
"Yes, Italian."
"What Italian? Shouldn't you be calling the Italian embassy maybe? Or the Berlitz language institute?"
"No, no, no ... you don't understand ..."
"Well ma'm, you don't seem to be understanding that you are wasting the police's time. Good evening."
"But wait!... "
*dial tone*

No :)
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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Lúthien » Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:32 pm

By the way, your avatar image here reminded me of the Elk from the Firebird-section of Fantasia 2000 - it can be viewed here: http://www.cornel1801.com/disney/Fantas ... insky.html

It's also on Youtube but the sound is very bad there.

Funny enough this animation was created by Paul and Gaëtan Brizzi whom I thought were Italian, but I just read that they are actually French.
As Meneldur says: synchronicities are da shizzat ...
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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Thu Apr 12, 2018 8:52 pm

Lúthien wrote:
Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:17 pm
"Hello? Is this the police"
"Yes. Officer Q.D. Barrington speaking. How can I help you?"
"Well, I wanted to tell you that
... a wacko came on my forum. I think he needs some serious medical attention."
"Why is that?"
"He claims that the Elves really exist and are about to oust the US president"

:D

That's what I meant, it wasn't about me being a man or a woman... :D
I'd like to leave behind soon the description of my meeting with the Eldar and to focus on more "substantial" things.
Such as the nature of life, of death, of time and a brief history of our solar system.
These are all things they know, things that are already written in their books, and some of them may prove interesting to someone who only knows history from a human viewpoint.
For example: human scientists are used to think of life on this planet as something firmly bound to the existence of the sun. What would they think if they found out that, in the beginning, the earth was illuminated by another sun, smaller and nearer, which then went out, becoming a little planet we now know as Venus?
The paleontologists will always think that dinosaurs were the only remarkable species before men, but what if they found out that archosaurs lived before dinosaurs and that the first specimens of archosaur were born on Mars and were terribly similar to dragons (as they could fly)?
And these aren't even the most important things... just pieces...

And I wanted to talk about gnosis, as I think it's basically the system through wich the Eldar have evolved and one of the most straight ways to learn to use the mind to modify reality.
It's no coincidence that one of the earliest Gnostics, Simon Magus, had practically become a magician.
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Lúthien » Sat Apr 14, 2018 4:49 pm

I think that any attempt to oust the current US president will be met with enthusiasm from our American forum members - at least the ones I know :)

And the same goes for me.

Re - “leaving behind the description of meeting the Eldar and moving on to substantial things like the nature of life, the universe and everything” - hmmm well, I’m sure that’s all very interesting, but there’s no need to rush things, is there?

I’m still quite interested to know more about that first bit.


Btw - Meneldur / Dave is a good one to discuss that stuff with, I’m surprised he hasn’t turned up yet. I bet he will, soon.
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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Tue Apr 17, 2018 12:10 pm

Lúthien wrote:
Sat Apr 14, 2018 4:49 pm
Re - “leaving behind the description of meeting the Eldar and moving on to substantial things like the nature of life, the universe and everything” - hmmm well, I’m sure that’s all very interesting, but there’s no need to rush things, is there?

I’m still quite interested to know more about that first bit.
When I first met Nilwen and her friends they did things that one doesn't normally think are possible.
I just thought it would be better to start by explaining how they were (and are) possible, before telling you about them.
Because otherwise the chances are very high that most of those who read think I'm dreaming everything up, or even worse, being delirious... :D
For now I've posted a new topic that I hope will help people consider that certain things may be possible.
I will soon talk again about my meeting with Nilwen, at least, I hope... :)
Btw - Meneldur / Dave is a good one to discuss that stuff with, I’m surprised he hasn’t turned up yet. I bet he will, soon.
I hope he will. :)
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Lúthien » Wed Apr 25, 2018 5:37 am

Hmm I'll prod him via email :)
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Re: There is no easy way to tell it, but there's something you need to know...

Post by Mildir » Wed Apr 25, 2018 8:12 am

No, Lúthien, I didn't want to disturb him. :D
I just hoped he might pass by soon, but I think it's better to let fate decide... :)
Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil. (J.R.R. Tolkien)

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