Meneldur Olvarion wrote: ↑Wed Jan 06, 2021 9:02 am
I just wondered if anyone reading this resonates with the 'Homesick For Another Place' idea and if they do, if they'd like to discuss it, as to me at the moment it is purely an intellectual abstraction.
Alas, in my case I think the matter is rather serious, being that many times through the years I felt even motivated to attempt suicide because of this feeling.
So many call it "homesickness" but my way of experiencing it has always been more like "I don't belong here".
The main reason is that incredible "alleged" memories - in the form of images, long and short visions or just... memories of moments spent with another family - have been blooming in my mind since I was a little inexperienced child.
They were a blessing and a curse at the same time: no matter what they truly are, they had the power of teaching me how far the universe can go in terms of beauty and "intensity of life", thus also teaching me how "low" our common level of evolution is, how poorly and badly we live.
I really feel like a modern man ended up in the Stone Age among people who die for a broken bone, who dismember each other for a piece of meat and do the kind of things that were absolutely normal
back then but are not from our modern perspective.
And so, yes, I think "I want to go back home, as far as I'm done leaving to the people here an image of the world how it could be, of the world I know - even though I cannot prove it - that I come from, I want to leave this horrible place forever and return where my spirit feels home".
I also had the chance to discover that reading Tolkien has little to do with these feelings, as he certainly narrates about other worlds, but they are not always fit to be seen as a potential "home" for homesick individuals...
For instance, I doubt I'd have really liked to live in Beleriand: I'd have probably died soon!